If you’re looking for a Valentine’s Day dinner that tests both your patience and your expectations for edible food, this restaurant absolutely delivers. The pasta arrived proudly undercooked — apparently the chef believes “al dente” means “still fighting for its life.” The portions were impressively tiny, which I assume was meant to help us focus on the experience rather than actually feeling full. Nothing says romance like leaving dinner hungry. The fish came soaked in a vinaigrette so aggressively unpleasant that it completely overpowered everything else on the plate. I’m still unsure whether it was meant to be dressing or a science experiment. And the cake served for dessert? A bold culinary statement — mainly that desserts can, in fact, belong directly in the trash. The only reason the night didn’t collapse entirely was our waitress, who was genuinely great at her job and clearly working overtime to compensate for what was coming out of the kitchen. She deserves credit — and probably an apology. As for the Valentine’s Day menu, calling it a “special” feels generous. It was more of a cleverly packaged scam: high prices, tiny portions, and food that made us question every life choice that led us there. Honestly, I’ve had more satisfying meals at McDonald’s, and at least there you know what you’re signing up for. I will never, ever, ever recommend eating here. Save your money, save your evening, and literally go anywhere else.
