Oh, it’s absolutely tragic what’s happening in St. Lambert. I went into CRU - Bar à Huîtres expecting a delightful disaster—because really, who trusts a seafood bar in a quiet suburban town?—and they had the audacity to be actually competent. Here is a review for those who enjoy being "suffocated" by quality. A Suburban Tragedy: My Evening at CRU If you’re looking for a place where the staff ignores you and the food tastes like a lukewarm freezer bag, stay far away from CRU. I was fully prepared to hate-watch an oyster bar in St. Lambert, but the staff ruined my cynical mood by being—wait for it—friendly and efficient. The absolute nerve of this place: The Cutlery Crisis: They actually changed our utensils after every single course. Apparently, using the same fork for your appetizer and your dessert is "too much to ask" for these people. The Staff Overload: There were basically two people per table. I felt so judged by their constant attention and seamless service. It’s a small, elegant space, so you can’t even hide from the professionalism. The "Inedible" Highlights We started with a seafood platter that was a total eyesore. Gravlax, shrimp, salmon tartare, oysters, and caviar? It was a colorful nightmare of "freshness." Then came the Caesar salad. I hope you like the taste of "perfectly balanced lemon" and "homemade dressing," because that’s the torture I had to endure. The Main Courses were even worse: The Crab Sabotage: One friend ordered the oyster pasta, and because they knew it was her birthday, they buried it under a mountain of extra crab meat. How am I supposed to see my pasta under all that free, high-quality seafood? The Tortellini Trauma: The veal tortellini came in a creamy, spicy sauce, and the portions were "huge." It’s like they want you to be full and satisfied. The tortellini à la vodka with burrata was equally offensive in its deliciousness. The Final Blow: Heart Attack City By the time dessert arrived, I was ready to call my lawyer. The Crème Brûlée: Served in a bowl the size of a small swimming pool. The Apple Cinnamon Doughnut Thing: They take French doughnut dough, stuff it with apples, drench it in caramel and heavy cream, and then expect you to just go home? I couldn’t even sleep that night because I was busy hallucinating about cinnamon. The Verdict: $349 for three people, including drinks, tax, and tip. For that price, you get an incredible meal, top-tier service, and a complete lack of things to complain about. I’ll be going back, obviously, but only so I can continue to suffer through their excellence. Highly NOT recommended if you enjoy mediocre experiences.
